Llama Shearing

I finished writing my novel and sheared a llama on the same day. The llama shearing seemed the greater accomplishment. Llambert the Llama is not a friendly creature. He resists being caught; he kicks when handled; and he’s the hairiest beast on the farm. Unlike every other creature we own, he does not shed come springtime. The arrival of spring brought the question, how does one shear a llama? Most pros use industrial clippers to remove the pounds of fiber. I, though, didn’t want to invest a few hundred dollars in clippers. Would scissors work? Where would I start? How could I get him to stand still? Did I risk getting spit upon? I spent many evenings in the barn, staring at Llambert, contemplating his future haircut.