December conversation with Hens

Dear hens. I know the days are short, the weather is soggy, that not even a bird brain would think it's a good idea to hatch chicks in December. But is there any way you can produce more than one egg a day?

I'm not asking for a dozen. I'm thinking four would be adequate. There are 20 of you, so that would mean you'd each only have to lay two eggs a week.

I'm not just thinking of myself here. Though, I am growing tired of oatmeal in the morning, and well, I miss having eggs on that one night a week that I don't feel like cooking. But there are others to think about. You've got fans that believe your eggs are the best. Who am I to disagree?

Anyway, those fans sure would like to have eggs for Christmas morning.

And then there's the baking. All those cookies require eggs.

So what do you think? Four eggs a day?

The hens fluff their feathers and hunker deeper into their nesting boxes.

"How about lights?" they murmur. "Strings of Christmas lights both in and out of the coop would brighten things up."

"Bah humbug," I say.

"Bah humbug," they reply.

I eat my toast for breakfast, thinking how much better it'd be with an egg.